||[Apr. 21st, 2010|09:42 am]
Limbo is neither heaven or hell, but an in between, and the fact that it isn't heaven or hell makes me crazy. I want it to be something, but it is nothing. Just indifferent. All my moods must be interjected. My dating life has frozen. I won't know if I my layoff is rescinded until May 15th. I am bored with San Francisco. The liberalism here is bordering on buffoonery. Nothing is going on. I've been keeping myself busy with frivolous activities. |
I am yearning for something exciting, in a good way to happen. I feel as though I am in a bit of a rut. I want to be passive while the universe sends me something good. I gave a cute boy, who I know is attracted to me, my number at the gym the other day. I don't think he will call me though. I've had words with him before, but he might not be able to handle all that I've told him. Which is fine.
I've been wanting to reorganize my home space. Summer is coming up and I am about to have about two months off. I want to be sure that my living space is comfortable. I also have been wanting to work on my writing. My creative writing. The problem has been that after work and the gym I get way fried.
Ah, the gym. It turns out that looks wise, I've become a bit of a cliche' gay muscle dude. I'm short little tank, a bruiser. I weighed myself in at 190 and got excited. 5'5 and 190 makes me into a beast. I want to reach 200 pounds and be done at that. Although reaching 200 pounds seems impossible, I'm going to try.